Sunday, 20 November 2011

# QUADBLOGGING 7: PEER ASSESSMENT, PLEASE

Whilst catching up with my marking, I was impressed with a homework completed by Lydia in my Year 9 class.  What do you think of this snippet of writing?  

As soon as the bell went for the end of the school term, I rushed home. The moment I got home I got changed into my pyjamas , I sat down on my brown leather sofa with fluffy cushions, turned on the telly and curled up. Waking up to the sound of the birds tweeting and the sunshine in my eyes, was the best feeling ever, knowing that I could enjoy the rest of the day in the sun with my friends and family. Saturday didn’t go how I planned, I spent the whole day doing all my homework! Saturday night was the best part of the day, snuggled up on the sofa with the fire burning eating sweets, as usual whilst watching X factor. 

3 comments:

  1. I'm very impressed that you got straight on with your homework rather than leaving it to the last minute Lydia.Well done for using some varied sentence starts in your writing. A target for you is to look at how you have used commas - remember, a comma cannot join two separate sentences.

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  2. Wow , Lydia you are really good at writing !I love how you have described your sofa and the cushions which gives the piece of writing a warmth to it !

    Hanya

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  3. sounds pretty much like me miss

    from joel 7k1

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